Desperate Measures
by sherrie123456
Summary: Miley devolps an eating disorder. Her problems bring her to someone she thought she'd never see again. And surprisingly, he's dealing with the same problem. JILEY.
1. The Start Of It All

Desperate Measures

Chapter One

The Start Of It All

**A/N: **Jake comes in the story in a big way eventually, this is kind of an introduction.

School had just gotten out two weeks ago and Lilly and I decided to celebrate by going shopping. I was in the dressing room of Macy's trying on a pair of size two Lucky Brand jeans. It was a tight pull over my thighs, I had to hop and wiggle to get into them. When I tried to button them, it wouldn't budge. This had happened earlier with a skirt I had tried on at home.

"Shit," I muttered. This was embarrassing. Did I gain weight? Oh god. This wouldn't be good for Hannah.

"How do they look, Miles?" Lilly's voice called through the dressing room.

"I don't know, I don't really like the shade…" I told her, not wanting to say the real reason. Lilly wouldn't care, but it was still embarrassing for me. The jeans were skintight. "How do yours look?"

"Really good, I think I'm going to buy them. I'll meet you by the register." Lilly said, then I heard her door open and she walked out. I took off the jeans and stood in front of the mirror in my panties.

Did I have cottage cheese thighs?

What about flabby arms? I need to loose these pounds I've gained, and

fast.

When we went to the food court before going home that day, Lilly ate pizza and I didn't eat anything. When she asked me why I wasn't eating, I told her I had a huge breakfast and wasn't hungry. Thankfully, she

accepted my answer. Later that day I was sitting in my room, bored with

nothing to do. I decided now was a better time than ever to take a run. Plus, it wasn't like I had anything else to do. I went in my closet and pulled out some gym shorts and a tee shirt and threw them on.

"Dad, I'm going on a run." I told him as I walked out the back door.

"You? You my daughter, are going on a run?!" He pretended to act amazed. I ignored him. "Better be back for dinner!" He called after me. I waved at him then left.

I ran two miles in total when I finally came back to my house. With my hands on my knees, I was bent over wheezing. I am definitely NOT a runner. I've always hated running, but what works works, right?

"Hey Bud, that was a long run, but you're just in time for dinner!" He motioned for me to sit down at the spot at the dinner table across from Jackson. I sat down and dad brought over three plates of lasagna, my

favorite. I hesitantly looked at it.

"Miley! Miley! Eat me! Eat me!" It was calling my name. I guess I could eat dinner. I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast and I was starving. Also,

with that run I probably would have run off anything I ate. I dug into the delicious meal.

"Jeez, Miles slow down, your going to get a stomach ache!" Dad exclaimed.

"Sorry, just hungry." I smiled sheepishly and finished the meal. I scooted away from the table and put my dish in the sink.

"Jackson, your on dishes tonight." Dad told my brother.

"What? I ALWAYS do the dishes! Make Miley!" He complained.

"No, dufuss, I always do them. And I did them last night, it's your turn." I smirked then walked up to my room. I laid on my bed with my laptop, but immediately felt guilty for eating that meal. What was there to do about it? I couldn't go on another run, I'm too tired and it's dark out.

I walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror.

Gross! Do I have two chins!? That's disgusting. I'm disgusting. I looked around my bathroom then grabbed my toothbrush out of its stand next to Jackson's. I walked over to the toilet and kneeled down and held onto the bowl with one hand, putting the end of the toothbrush in my mouth with the other hand.

Was I really going to do this?

I knew this could be dangerous, but was there any other way?

I have to do this, my career depends on it.

Here I go… Shoving the toothbrush down my throat, it hit my tonsils, making me gag. Before I could do anything else I threw the toothbrush on the ground and slammed the toilet lid shut.

Oh my god, how could I have almost done that? I'm not a sick person. I'm not going to make myself throw up!

What was I thinking? I know all the risks. I could become addicted! The acid from my stomach could make a hole in my esophagus! Gross. Plus it could mess up my nails!

I hurried out of the bathroom and went across the hallway back to my room. I got under my covers, grabbed my laptop and signed online. Hopefully I could talk online with someone to distract me.

SmileMile86 is now logged in.

I scanned my buddy list with my eyes. Oliver was on.

SmokinOken: Hey Miles

SmileMile86: Hey Ollie

SmokinOken: How was shopping today?

SmileMile86: It was great. You should've come!

SmokinOken: Oh yeah, shopping, MY FAV!

SmileMile86: haha, well next time we'll do something you would like too.

SmokinOken: Thanks.

SmokinOken: Sorry, mom's calling me. ttyl

SmileMile86: byeee

No one else that I wanted to talk to was online so I signed off and picked up my favorite book of all time, This Lullaby, and decided to read it again. Remy and Dexter were just so cute together! I reread all the parts I loved and skipped over the boring ones, then went to bed early.

The next morning, I woke up around eight and walked down stairs. Dad was making pancakes.

"Mornin' Miley." He greeted me as I walked into the kitchen.

"Morning daddy." I said, sitting on one of the counter stools. Yum, those pancakes smelled delicious. Knowing I never turned down his pancakes, dad handed me a stack of three on a plate with a few strawberries.

"Thanks," I said, staring at it. I waited a few more moments.

"Aren't you going to eat it?" He asked me, looking confused.

"Uh…yeah. Of course." I smiled at him while cutting it up into little pieces. I made them as small as I could then moved them around they plate, hoping dad wouldn't notice.

"So what are you up to today?" Dad asked, sitting next to me with his plate of food.

"I'm thinking about going on a run on the beach after this, then maybe I'll call Oliver and Lilly or something." I told him through bites of pancake.

"Okay. What's got you so into running now?" He looked at me questioningly.

"I guess it's the healthy thing to do. Plus, ALL the cool kids are doing it!" I joked and he grinned.

"Thanks for breakfast, dad. It was great." I smiled at him then got up to put my plate in the dishwasher.

After breakfast I went up into my room to change into some running clothes. I put on some Sofee shorts and a wife beater style tank top. Next I went into the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth.

When I looked in the mirror I felt sick that I had eaten those three pancakes. I shouldn't have done it.

Pancakes had so many calories! Oh god, I couldn't gain any more weight! I am going to do it this time, no chickening out this time.

I locked the door, then grabbed my toothbrush. Leaning over the toilet, I shoved the toothbrush back far enough to make me gag and then throw up. My breakfast fell into the toilet bowl, looking just like it had

about fifteen minutes ago, only with a tinge of yellow. I didn't want to look at it, so I quickly flushed the toilet.

Then I brushed my teeth, hoping to get rid of any after taste. I splashed some cold whatever on my face, then walked out of the bathroom and outside to go on my run.

This was how my pattern went for the next few days. I ran when I woke up and after lunch. And after basically every meal I ate, I made my way up to the toilet and threw it up. It was a whole lot easier then I thought it would be. During health classes they always made it seem like a big deal, but honestly, doing it felt almost natural. I figured this would be the best way to loose the weight because it was less suspicious and a whole lot easier than just not eating. And I was also enjoying the running when I

would remember to bring my iPod along.

We had been out of school for a week and a half now, and I was at the beach with Lilly and Oliver. Lilly and I were tanning with our magazines while Oliver was in the ocean.

"Guys, come on! The water is great!" Oliver called from the water.

"No." We said with no enthusiasm. He'd been trying to

get us in for about a half and hour now, and it obviously wasn't going to work.

"Okay then, you leave me no choice." Oliver took Lilly first and slung her over one shoulder, then bent over again and slung me over the other, "We're going

swimming!"

"No!! Put us down!" Lilly and I screamed, punching our fists into his back. Oliver had gotten surprisingly strong since we were freshman. He dumped us both in the water.

"I'll get you back for this." I told him darkly, then gave him my most evil smile. Oliver just smirked.

"Whoa, Miley, you're looking very skinny today." Lilly said, looking at me kind of worriedly.

"Huh, well that's weird. I've been eating more than ever." I lied, not meeting her eyes. Oliver poked my showing ribs.

"You are looking awfully skinny, Miles." He said, using the same worried tone that Lilly had used. Truthfully, I loved hearing them say this, even though I already knew it. This diet was working amazingly well. In my journal I record my food intake and weight loss and so far I've lost six pounds! If this kept going my way, I'd be a six zero in no time…

Heey everyone. I know I probably shouldn't be starting another story right now, but I'm still going to try to keep up with Ways Of Dealing. I've had this story for a while and have been like wanting to post it.

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

XOXO

Sherrie.


	2. Jackson Knows

Disclaimer- I do not own Hannah Montana.

Hidden Secrets

Chapter Two

Jackson Knows

It was the next morning and I had already had my breakfast, gotten rid of it, and went on my run. Now I was sitting at the kitchen table, eating lunch with Lilly and Oliver.

"You make amazing sandwiches, Miley." Oliver told me.

"Yeah, well, it isn't that difficult, you know." I said modestly.

"Hey Miley, where is you relish, I can't find it in here." Lilly said with her head in the fridge. I got up to help her.

"I'll get it, sit down." I told her as I got up to get the relish out of the fridge.

When I stood up, I felt a little bit dizzy. I grabbed the relish, then was about to walk over to the table when I felt extra light headed. I grabbed onto the counter with both hands to steady myself.

"Whoa, you okay Miles?" Oliver's concerned voice asked me.

"Uh yeah, I'm fine." I said, rubbing my head as I sat back down in my chair, handing Lilly the relish.

"Thanks." Lilly said squirting the relish onto her plate. She was a little odd sometimes, and liked eating her relish plain. At first Oliver and I thought this was weird, but now we have gotten used to it.

"Sure, anytime." I said, then finished up the half of my sandwiches I'd decided to eat, then got up and discreetly threw away the rest. "I'm going to go to the bathroom, be right back." I told them, then started walking towards the stairs.

"You must have a super speedy digestive system, Miley. You go to the bathroom after every meal!" As Oliver pointed this out, I rolled my eyes.

"Hey! Your right!" Lilly pointed out. I left my two doughnut friends behind, and went up to the bathroom. I walked in, locked the door, and grabbed my toothbrush, avoiding the mirror. I knelt over the toilet and did what had become normal for me. Only this time, I heard a gasp coming from in the bathroom.

I flushed the toilet and threw my toothbrush on the counter, then looked around. No one was in here. I pulled back the shower curtain.

"Aah!" I screamed, jumping back. Jackson had been sitting in the shower. Creep!

"What the hell are you doing in here?!" I exclaimed.

"What the hell are YOU doing in here?!" He yelled back. "Miles, I can't believe this!" He looked hurt and sad.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, trying to look confused.

"I was in your room, I read your 'Food Diary.'" He said to me.

"What were you doing in my room?" I shrieked.

"Looking for your real diary…" He looked ashamed. "But when I found the food one, I decided to see for myself. How could you be doing this to yourself?" He questioned.

"I'm not doing anything to myself, Jackson!" I exclaimed.

"Fine, if you're not going to talk to me, I'm going to talk to Dad." Jackson told me, then turned around and was about to open the door.

"WAIT!" I got his attention and then racked my brain for something to use against him. "If you tell dad, I'll tell him about the party you had two weeks ago… while he was out of town… with alcohol?" I said, watching his face go down.

"Fine, Miley. But you better know you're only hurting yourself." He walked out of the bathroom and slammed the door. I'd never really made Jackson actually mad, and I didn't like the feeling. I felt the tears stinging my eyes, and slowly sunk myself down the the bathroom floor. With my head in my knees, I slowly

started to sob.

How could I have done this to myself?

How could I know what I'm doing to myself, yet not want to stop? This is horrible.

I sat in there for a few more minutes, until I heard Lilly's voice.

"Miley, are you okay in there?" She said, knocking on the door.

"Yeah, we heard yelling." Oliver's voice added. I quickly wiped my tears, and then checked in the mirror that they weren't red. Then I opened the bathroom door to see Lilly and Oliver standing there.

"So, what would you like to do today?" Lilly asked me.

"We should go to the mall!" I said, wanting to get those jeans that I had tried on earlier, but they hadn't fit then.

"But we just went… Oh what am I saying?" Lilly hit herself in the head. "I LOVE the mall, let's go!" I smiled, them bounced down the steps and out to my car, with Lilly and Oliver in sync.

"You know, I really don't like going to the mall. You guys are all 'Ooh look how cute this is! And look at this!'" Oliver imitated us in a girly voice once we got in the car.

"Yeah, but you looove spending time with your two BFFs!" I teased him. He groaned. "Would it make it better if you got the front seat?" I asked sweetly.

"Yes, totally!" Lilly and I laughed at him, then she reluctantly got into the back seat and Oliver moved to the front next to me.

"Ooh, do I get music control too?" He asked.

"Sure, as long as you don't complain at the mall." I said, knowing he would probably just put on the same music I listened to any ways.

"Deal!" He grinned, then turned on the radio. When we got to the mall, we first went to Macy's to get the jeans I had tried on before, then went to Forever 21 and H&M. I got a few shirts from those places.

"I'm hungry." Oliver groaned.

"Hey! No complaining!" Lilly and I snapped.

"I was just stating the facts? But can we please, please get food?" Oliver whined.

"Sure, let's go." Lilly agreed, and I tagged along on the way to the food court.

Oliver went up and ordered three sides of fries for us. He came back with the fries and started to eat his, but then stopped.

"Dig in." Oliver said, placing fries in front of both Lilly and me.

"Oh wait! We need ketchup. And cheese sauce. And ranch!" He exclaimed.

"I'll help you." Lilly told him, and they got up to go get the sauces. When turned their backs, I quickly stuffed some of my fries into the kangaroo pocket of my large hooded sweatshirt. Then I opened up my purse and stuffed some in there too.

"Whoa Miles, you really took 'Dig In' literally." Oliver joked, then sat down and placed all the sauces in the middle of the table. Lilly did the same.

We stayed in the food court for a little bit longer. I ate the half of my French fries I didn't hide, and then well… got rid of them. Then I dropped Lilly and Oliver off at their houses, and drove back to my own.

When I walked in, Jackson was sitting down in the living room reading sports illustrated. He didn't say anything to me. I decided to watch some TV. I bent over to pick up the remote (which was laying on the ground), when all the French fries I had put in my pocket fell out. Jackson looked up from his magazine and to the ground, where all my food had fallen out.

"Miles, your sick." He told me. Normally when he said this it was because something stupid, like I farted, or burped. Now, I knew what he meant, even if I didn't want to.

"You can tell Dad whatever you want about me, I don't care. All I know is that I have to tell him about

this." He said, getting off the couch and walking up towards our dad's room.

"No Jackson! You can't! I'm fine, I promise! Don't tell Dad!" I begged, throwing myself in front of the steps to stop him. I was desperate. If my dad found out about this, he'd be watching me like a hawk. I was truly fine. I could stop this madness whenever I wanted to.

"Tell Dad what?" Dad said, appearing on the steps behind us. I turned around to see him.

"Don't tell about the surprise party. Whoops!" I blurted out, trying to think fast.

"Miles, my birthday isn't until December." Damn, I needed a good excuse.

"No, dad she's lying. And there's something I have to tell you." Jackson

"What is it son?" Dad asked him, looking concerned.

"It's about Miley." I was biting my nails. I couldn't believe he was about to do this.

"No- Jackson," I whispered, cutting him off.

"Stop, I'm telling him and you can't stop me." Jackson, who had been looking at me, turned to my dad.

"Dad… she's not eating. And… and she's purging when she does eat." Jackson told him, and to my surprise, he had tears into his eyes. Maybe- oh my god… Dad was crying to. God this wasn't a big deal, it's not like I'm dying!

"Miles… is this true?" Dad asked me, rubbing my arm.

"Uh… well…" I said nervously.

"It is! I'll show you what I found." Jackson ran up to my room and dad followed him. I stayed where I was for the moment.

Before I knew it, tears were forming in my eyes. How could I have let this happen? I unsteadily walked up the stairs and entered my room to see Dad and Jackson sitting on my bed with my food diary in Dad's lap.

"Miley… we need to get you help." We spent the next half and hour discussing as a family what to do. Dad had suggested rehab many times during the discussion, but I was able to convince him that it wasn't that serious. At one point, Jackson suggested I go to Africa , for no reason at all; that's when Dad and I

made him leave. After a while we decided that I would go to a group therapy session. I turned down one-on-one therapy because I always thought that'd be awkward. Talking alone with someone about your problems, and you barely know them? No thanks.

I asked Dad if he would let me stay on a regular diet. The answer was no; apparently he didn't trust me with diets anymore. Great… now I'm going to get all fat again.

As much as I didn't want to go to therapy and talk to dumb strangers, I was a little bit relived that they knew now. Now I wouldn't have to always have the after taste of puke. Nice…

Kay, so I know it seems like I moved that along really, really fast. But I wanted to move it along really fast. Haha I thought it'd be boring if I talked about this stuff for more chapters. So just think that was over a longer period of time. Okay? Thanks.

Thank you to those two reviewers. Haha, I appreciate it, but I kinda want a **fewww more **this time, okay guys? I updated 'cas I really like writing this story.

**PLEASE REVIEW THOUGH! It'll make me update sooner. and better. haha.**

XOXO

Sherrie.


	3. Meeting Time

Disclaimer- I do not own Hannah Montana.

Desperate Measures

Chapter Three

Meeting Time

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Dad asked me. I was grabbing my keys of the counter, getting ready to go to my first anorexia/bulimia group meeting.

"Do I have a choice?" I asked coldly. I was in a horrible mood today. Who wouldn't be?

"Well... no. Good point." Dad chuckled. I didn't think this was funny. I'm fine! I don't need stupid strangers trying to "help" me. I don't even need help!

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "I should probably get going." I said, waving my keys. Dad was smiling. Why was he acting like this? I felt like it was the first day of school. Next he'd be getting out the camera and taking his proud-father pictures.

"Bye, honey. Come home right after, I want to hear about it." I nodded then went to my meeting.

I walked into the forced group therapy session, not wanting to be there at all. I'm still angry with Jackson for squealing on me. How could he do that? I trusted him!

This small room was in the basement of a church. It was quite drab. The shag carpet floors where a mustard yellow color. There was dark wood paneling up all the four walls. Arranged in a circle were twelve plastic, uncomfortable looking blue chairs. I sat down in one of the chairs, not really looking at anyone yet.

"Hello everybody, it's great to have you all here today. And it looks as if we have someone new here today…" She what seemed to be the leader of this group as she walked in and sat in an empty chair next to me.

She gestured at me to introduce myself.

"Um Hi, I'm Miley Stewart." I said, then looked up at the group and smiled.

"It's nice to have you Miley, I'm Ronnie." The leader, Ronnie, told me. Then the rest of the group introduced themselves.

"Hello, I'm Emma Hatemer." The thin blonde girl next to me said.

"Jackie Hegif." The dark haired, gawky girl next to Emma said.

"Leah Bunk."

"Emily Jacobsin."

"Sandy Coleman."

"Ryan Keggle." This name made me look up again. It was the first guy name to be called. I looked at the dark haired, skinny guy and felt bad for him. He was the only guy here. He seemed cool though. He had on stylish skinny jeans and a Ramones band shirt.

"Katie Spellman." The name calling stopped for a second when He walked in the door. He looked almost the same, but skinnier, taller and more mature

looking. And hotter. Much, much hotter.

Sure enough, it was Jake Ryan walking through the door. Jake Ryan and I… in the same Bulimia/Anorexia group? Jake and I haven't talked in two years… since we were freshman.

After he left me the rose and note, I hadn't heard from him. I didn't even know he was still in Malibu. Well, this shall be interesting…

"Hey everyone, sorry I'm late." He gave the group and small wave, and took a seat in the circle that was across from mine.

"That's alright, we're glad you could make it. Someone new is here today, so please introduce yourself." Ronnie said to Jake, not knowing that we

didn't need any introductions.

"Jake Ryan." He nodded without looking up. He was putting his cell phone into his bag which was one the ground. Then Jake looked up, and saw me looking at him. He had dark circles under his eyes. When his eyes met mine, he looked panicky and quickly averted his eyes. "Sorry, I forgot I have an… an appointment. Bye." Jake said, and then darted out of the room.

"Well, okay then." Ronnie sighed and rolled her eyes. "Let's start with this session, there's not much time left."

The whole time, I couldn't to help but think about Jake. He never seemed like the type to be bulimic or anorexic. But then again, who did? Why would he just run out like that? Was it because I was here? Did he hate me? I didn't think so. After he sent the rose it seemed like we were okay with each other. I hoped he would be at the next meeting, which was the day after tomorrow. If Jake was at the next one, maybe we could catch up.

The rest of the meeting I was pretty tuned out. I mumbled some 'Mhmms' and 'I agrees' but that's pretty much it. I didn't need to be here. These people that I don't even know can't help me. Okay so I know some of

their problems and names, but that's it. And Ronnie. How is Ronnie supposed to help me? She doesn't even know me. I mean, she is nice and all, she's just a little bit off. Like something about her is wrong. If I really had a big problem, I would need my family to help me. Not these creeps.

After the meeting, I went out to my car and drove home.

"Hey Miles, how was your first day?" Dad questioned as I walked through the door.

"Mhm," I answered vaguely.

"Want dinner?" Dad asked.

"No," I answered, then went up to my room and closed the door. I really wasn't in the mood to talk to Dad about it, or Jackson.

I flopped down on my bed an thought about Jake. I hoped he didn't leave the meeting because of me, although that is most likely the reason. Why else would he leave? He looked so good though. So much more mature. Had he changed? Or was he still the egotistical jerk? Well, not necessarily a jerk, especially after the sweet letter he wrote me, but he sure was egotistical.

Fantastic. Just great. I'm early for the meeting today (my second meeting), so it's just me and good ol' Ronnie. Can anyway say awkward small talk? At least I looked cute. I wasn't sure if I still liked Jake, but I did want to make a good impression. I had spent a half an hour the night before picking out the right outfit for today. I decided on a jean mini skirt, tall chestnut UGG boots, and a light blue beater tank top. Although it may not seem like an incredible outfit, it sure took a lot of thought to pick out.

Ronnie leaned forward, closer to me, as if she were about to tell me a secret. "So how have you been handling everything, Miley?"

"Fine," I tell her. I am fine. It seems like I have to tell myself that a lot lately.

"Did you find your first meeting helpful? And what about the people?" Ronnie pressed on.

"The meeting was good, people were nice." I told her. She was there, wasn't she?

"Thats good, sweetie. I hope you have a chance to meet Jake today, you know the one that hurried out yesterday. Everyone here finds him very inspirational." Ronnie smiled at me, patted my knee, then sat back in her seat. Finally, people came piling in. Some were different, and some were the same people from yesterday. The thing about these people is that they all seem to have a bond. They all seem to trust each other.

People chatted with each other and others got coffee from the little table that was set up with coffee and doughnuts. The coffee was now running low, but no one had touched the doughnuts. How surprising? While all this other commotion was going on, I was sitting in my seat, staring at the door.

Still no Jake. I admit I was a little bit excited for today's meeting, but just to see Jake. Now that he's not showing up, this just sucks.

"You're Miley, right?" I looked up, being pulled from my thoughts, and noticed a pretty girl, who looked about my age. She wasn't too skinny either. Noticing her face, she was pretty much beautiful.

"Yeah, hi, and your...? Sorry, so many new people." I blushed, embarrassed that I couldn't remember her name.

"Leah," She said, sticking out her hand for me to shake.

Leah extended her arm and took a graceful swig of coffee. "How do you like it here so far?"

"Well, it's uhh... it's fine." I smiled.

Leah grinned. "Yeah, I didn't like it here when I started either. So many people, it just all seemed so weird. But I've been coming for about a year now though and I hate to miss it." She smiled once again, then Ronnie started the meeting. Leah sat down in the seat next to me. It was nice to have made a new friend. Leah seemed sweet.

I pretty much zoned out through the whole meeting. My eyes practically never left the door. Stupid Jake. If he doesn't come next time, I might has well start skipping this meetings. He's now my assentive to come.

Wow, I do I sound desperate or what?

Hey guys. Hope you liked it! Next chapter, Jake and Miley will finally chat! haha yay!

**please review!**

**XOXO**

**SHERRIE.**


	4. Jake Again

**Disclaimer-** I do not own Hannah Montana.

**Desperate Measures**

Chapter Two

Jake Again

Today was one of the days I didn't have a meeting. I was walking down the street with my iPod, heading to Lilly's house. I had barely talked to her for the last three days, and she had no idea about the meetings or anything. I planned on telling her today. It didn't seem right that she didn't know.

I rang the door bell and waited for someone to answer.

"Oh, Hello dear, Lilly is upstairs in her room with Oliver, you can go right up." Mrs. Truscott greeted me. Great, now I'd have to tell them both. Well, two birds with one stone I guess.

"Thanks Mrs. T." I smiled at her, than went up to Lilly's room walked right in. Then I kind of wished I had knocked.

"Shit," I muttered under my breath. Lilly and Oliver were on Lilly's bed. Making out. Lilly and Oliver! I wasn't mad, but this wasn't something I wanted to see. It was kind of disturbing, actually.

"Shit," Lilly said also, when she noticing me standing in the doorway. I turned around quickly to leave, but Lilly stopped me while I was on the steps.

"Miley! Wait a sec!" She called, out of breathe.

"Yeah?" I asked innocently.

"Are you mad? I was going to tell you, I really was!" Lilly said in a hurry, trying to get in all in.

I laughed, "No, I'm not mad. I'm gonna go though. I'll talk to you later."

"You don't have to go." She said, looking sad.

"No, it's fine. You guys have fun." I grinned and winked at her. Lilly turned bright red, then went back into her room and shut the door. I snuck out the front door quietly so Mrs. Truscott didn't see me leaving so quickly. I didn't want it to be awkward. Or more awkward I should say. I wonder if she even knows what's going on between them.

On the walk back to my house, I couldn't help but wonder when this started happening, and when Lilly was planning on telling me? Oh well, it probably just started, I told myself.

"Hey Miles, you're back early. You and Lilly didn't hang out long?" Dad asked as I walked in the door.

"Nope, she wasn't home." I lied. I didn't feel like going into this with him.

"Well, now you can eat dinner with us." Dad grinned.

"Fantastic." I reply.

"It'll be read in an hour. I'll call you down." He told me.

"Okay. I'm going to shower."

I turned on the hot water, then striped down. As I was about to get in, my body caught my eye in the mirror. I had been eating lately, not much, but still eating. And I hadn't been throwing up since my first meeting, three days ago. Mainly because I was worried about getting caught again. I couldn't have gained wait, could I have? I looked bloated. Gross...

After my shower I threw on a Seaview middle school sweatshirt. Then I realized it was Jake's. I thought back to how I had gotten this... one of my favorite memories of Jake.

It was right after he kissed me, then said he was leaving for Romania. After I knocked him off the ledge, then I went to help him up and kissed him again. Then we walked down the beach, talking, until it starting raining. That's when Jake gave me his sweatshirt. I guess I never gave it back. Anyway, the next day Jake left for Romania.

I sniffed it. Sadly, it smelled like me now, not Jake. It had been so long since we were close, I don't even remember what he smells like.

"Miles! Dinner time!" Dad called me down.

"Coming!" I said, then bounced downstairs.

"Yum. Looks good, Daddy." I grinned at him.

"Thanks bud." Dad nodded then started eating his own food. "Ronnie called the house phone and left a message that tomorrow's morning is earlier. 11:00. Are you going to be up in time?" Dad laughed at his own joke.

"Ha ha, very funny. I will be up in time though, I'm excited for tomorrow though, I made a new friend yesterday. Her name is Leah." I told dad, bumping up my excitement a couple points. I wanted him to think I really did like the meetings and that they were helping me. I didn't want to disappoint him, or make him think something is wrong with me.

Dad smiled a genuine smile at me. "That's great, honey, it's really great."

I finished stuffing my face with the great food my Dad had made, then went up to my room. I tried to watch television, but I just couldn't stop concentrating on how stuffed I felt. It was making me feel gross. I had to get ride of that food. ASAP.

I ran into the bathroom, and did the routine that had become so familiar to me. When I was done I flushed the toilet and slumped against the bathtub. I automatically felt guilty. Well, what can they expect? I just started going to meetings. I can just stop like magic. Plus, it's not like I've been doing it as much lately.

I went back in my room and watched TV until I fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning and looked at my alarm clock. SHIT! 10:30! It takes at least 15 minutes to get to the church where the meetings are held! I put on some big blue sweat pants off the ground that said Seaview High on the butt in white, black flip flops, and kept on the seaview sweatshirt I had been wearing. I don't think the people at group really care what I look like. Heck, I don't really care what I look like right now. It's not like Jake will show up anyway. Dumb Jake.

I showed up at the meeting 15 minutes late. Dad made me eat scrambled eggs before I left. He's always telling me I need my protein.

When I got there I took the only open seat, right next to Ronnie. No Jake. But that's no really surprising.

Today I actually listened. Today was the day every went around the circle and talked about how they have been doing with their disorder, and their point in recovery. Some stories were so touching, I couldn't help but tear up a little.

Jake barely crossed my mind during the meeting because I had gotten so into it. Lucky for me though, time was up before I had to share my story and everything. We only got about half way through the circle. Meetings were only an hour and a half long.

"Hey," Leah said, appearing at my side as we walked up the stairs of the church to leave.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked her, smiling.

"Nothing. I was just wondering if you wanted to go to lunch with me," Leah offered. I really was going to say yes, but then as we opened the doors of the church and walked outside, I saw Jake. He was leaning against the hood of his car with his ankles crossed, staring at his feet.

"Oh that sounds great, but do you think we can do it after the next meeting? I have to talk to someone today." I told her.

Leah nodded, understandingly. She noticed where I was looking. "He's cute. He's been coming here for about a month now, he's never missed meetings. Well, until now. Any ways, see you next time! And we'll do lunch after." Leah grinned then walked to her car.

Slowly, I walked up to Jake. "Heyy," I said softly.

Jake looked up and studied me for a minute, then smiled, "Hey."

Confused, I ask him, "What are you doing here?" It was then I realize I had chosen today to wear my worst clothes. Fan-freaking-tastic.

"Waiting for you..." Jake said vaguely, then smiled at me again.

"Well, here I am." I giggled. I was surprised it was so easy to talk to him after all this time. It seemed like we hadn't missed a beat. Jake was still smiling up at me.

"Want to go to lunch?" He finally asked.

"Sure. But my car...?" I said, turning my head in the direction of my car.

"I'll take you back here to get it later." Jake told me. I nodded then got into the passenger's seat of his car as he got in the driver's seat. The ride was only about two minutes, then we arrived at a Chili's. Yeah, it's not the best place ever, but I was just excited to get to talk to Jake again.

"So..." Jake said, once we had sat down at our table.

"So..." I repeated.

Cue the awkward silence...

"Listen Miley-" Jake started, but was cut of by the overly perky Chili's waitress.

"Hello you two! Can I get you something to drink?" She smiled at us, her high pony swinging.

"Water, please." Jake said.

"Same for me, thanks." I said, then she walked away. I looked at Jake, expecting him to finish what he was going to tell me.

He cleared his throat. "Like I was saying, I'm sorry I stopped going to those meetings after you showed up. I guess it kind of just freaked me out, you know, to see you again. Especially there, under those circumstances, and well... I acted like a baby." Jake told me, blushing.

I nodded and smiled, "Yeah, a big baby." Jake laughed. I studied his face. His amazing sea green eyes didn't look so tired and sunken in anymore. They actually looked good. He looked good, real good.

"So, how have you been? Over the last, uh, two years?" Jake chuckled.

"I've been really good, actually. Well, until recently." I didn't really mean to blurt out the last part, and my hand instantly flew up to my mouth. Jake was just so easy to talk to. "How have you been?" I asked him.

"I've been good too." Jake nodded. There were so many things I wanted to ask him. I didn't even know where to start.

"So, where have you been going to school. Or have you even been going?" I eyed him suspiciously in a joking way. He grinned.

"I've been getting tutored at home. I don't really work that much anymore, other than a few movies here and there, but real school just didn't seem right for me." Jake told me.

I nodded to show I was listening. "I didn't even know you were still in Malibu." I told him, my voice not cold, but not very gentle either.

Jake's eyes looked up at me, full of regret. "Yeah... I really am sorry about that. I just thought... I don't know what I thought. I guess I thought you wouldn't want anything to do with me." Jake ended sadly.

"What? Why would you think that?" I asked him, surprised that that was the reason we hadn't stayed friends. I didn't expect it at all.

"Because I was a jerk to you. And I really am sorry for acting like that. Honestly." Jake said. The waitress came back and gave us our waters, noticed we were talking, and left again.

"Well, I'm sorry for acting like a bitch. Honestly." I told him.

"Okay then, I think we're even." Jake smiled, and held out his hand for me to shake. As I put my hand in his, I swear I felt sparks. It sounds stupid, but it felt great. I hadn't liked anyone since the whole Jake ordeal. He held my hand for a few seconds longer than necessary, but he quickly dropped it once the waitress came back to the table.

"Can I get something to eat for you two lovebirds?" She cooed. I blushed. I looked over to see that Jake was also blushing. Great, just great.

"Water's fine." We both said in unison. I looked at Jake, blushing even more. The waitress didn't leave, just stood their and tapped her foot impatiently like she was waiting for us to actually order. It seemed that her perkiness had disappeared into thin air.

"We should probably get food. I don't think Ronnie would approve of this." Jake laughed. I nodded in agreement.

"Actually, I'll have chicken fingers." I said, pointing to the kids menu.

"I'll have fijtas, please." The waitress took down Jake and I's order, then left again.

"Speaking of Ronnie, how do you like her? I think she's great." Jake chuckled, "Seriously, I've missed her since these meetings I missed."

I giggled. "Yeah, she's... well, she's interesting." I smiled. It felt weird talking about this with Jake. We weren't saying it directly, but it was like both our secrets were out in the open. Exposed. Not even my best friend new, but now he did.

"Trust me, you'll learn to love her." And that I did. Trust Jake. Not love Ronnie. But I do trust Jake. It feels like our friendship never ended. Or paused?

"So what exactly did you do after we, ya know, broke up?" I asked him, because I wanted to know. The break up seemed like a touchy subject, but I was curious. Just ten the waitress brought our food over. Wow, quick service. We both began to eat, then Jake answered my question.

"Seriously? This is boring, but basically all I did was tutor. And hang out with Tyler." Tyler was Jake's younger brother, but they didn't get to spend much time together when they were both younger, because Jake was always working.

I checked my clock. "Shoot, I've gotta be back home in half an hour." I said to Jake. Dad had told me to be home by 2:00. It was cleaning day... a new thing for our family. I started getting my money out.

"It's fine, I've got this one." Jake told me, putting money down on the table then sliding out of the booth.

"I'm just going to go to the bathroom real quick." I told him.

"Okay." I noticed Jake was heading the same way as me, but he went in the Men's bathroom. It was weird, but I had a feeling we both knew what each other was doing, but we weren't going to say anything. We had the same problem.

I did the routine, using my finger instead of a tooth brush. I hated doing that because I heard in health class that it turns your nails yellow from your stomach acid, but I did what was necessary. Then I grabbed a Brush-Up from my purse, and quickly brushed up.

Jake and I walked out of the bathroom at the same time, and he was wiping the corners of his mouth with his fingers. I smiled at him awkwardly. Yeah, we both definitely just knew what each other had done, but it was our own secret.

"Ready to go?" He asked, blushing a little. I nodded and we walked out to his car and he took me back to mine. He got out and walked me over to my car, then lingered by the door.

"So, thanks for coming to lunch with me." Jake smiled and touched my arm.

"Thanks for taking me." I grinned back. We both stood there, wanting to say more, but it was silent for a moment.

"Miley, I've really missed you." Jake told me earnestly.

I didn't know what he meant really, I didn't know how to react. "Well then maybeee you should show up at the next meeting!" I smiled and playfully punched his arm. Jake smiled briefly, but then was serious again.

"Seriously though, I've missed you a lot." Jake smiled sadly, then pulled me into a tight hug. I think it was supposed to be friendly, but it lasted longer than normal. And there were sparks for sure. I really hoped he was feeling them too. It felt so unbelievingly good to have his warm body near mine again. He buried his face in my curly, loose hair, and I pressed mine against his chest.

"I've missed you too," I whispered. "A lot." Jake pulled away.

"See you the day after tomorrow." He said, giving a small wave, then walked off to his car. Watching him walk off, I noticed something different about Jake. He seemed more like the Jake I had fallen in love with. Not the cocky, arrogant Jake I'd had to break up with.

Then, when he was almost to his car, I heard him call my name. "Hey!" He yelled. I turned around.

"Yeah?" I asked, yelling so he could hear me.

"You're wearing my sweatshirt, aren't you?" He shouted, laughter in his voice.

"Maybe..." I shouted playfully. Jake just laughed and shook his head, then got in his car and drove off.

This would have been the perfect day... if only I didn't have to go home and clean.

So this has to be the quickest I've ever updated. And it's because of all your reviews! Thank you SO MUCH! Really. They inspired me. haha.

**PLEASE REVIEW! this chapter. haha thankss!**

**XOXO**

**Sherrie.**


	5. Awkward

Desperate Measures

Chapter Five

A/N- sorry about me taking like a month to update. between homework, gymnastics five days a week, and my community service program thing, I have like noo time. it sucks. and i really am sorryy, but here it is...

"Miley! Where have you been? I must have called you a million times! Answer the damn phone!" Lilly's voice screamed into my ear as I checked my voicemails. I'm feeling pretty guilty, but I just didn't know how to tell Lilly about what had been going on, so I had basically been avoiding her.

I decideded I should let her know what was going on, so I called finally called her back.

"Miley!" Lilly shouted.

"Heyy Lilly,"

"Where the heck have you been?! You always have your cell phone." Lilly was using her stern voice. It made me smile.

"I know, I'm sorry. If you meet me at the beach I'll explain it to you." I told her. I was in my closet picking out something to wear. It was 11:30.

"Okay, I'll see you there at 12. The normal meeting spot." Lilly said quickly, then hung up.

I grabbed my bathing suit and put it on, then threw on a pair of jean shorts and a t-shirt, slipped on my flip-flops, then went downstairs.

"Morning sleepy-head," Dad greeted me. He looked like he had just gotten back from his morning run.

"Morning, I'm going to meet Lilly at the beach." I told him.

"You want me to drop you off?" Dad offered.

"Nope, that's fine. See you later!" I called, skipping out the door. I declined Dad's ride and was leaving early so I could go on a quick run to the beach. I feel like I haven't run in forever.

When I reached the beach, I collapsed in the sand to take a quick break. Then I looked around to see if Lilly was here yet; she wasn't. I sat for a couple minutes, thinking about hanging out with Jake again tomorrow. Well, I wasn't sure if we'd hang out again, I hoped we would, but I know I'd see him at the meeting. Just then Lilly plopped down next to me.

"Hey," I said.

"Hellloo." Lilly smiled. "So what's up?"

"I, um, I just wanted to tell you why I might be a little a-wall lately." I started. This was making me nervous.

"Yeah…?" Lilly said, waiting for me to actually explain it.

I let out a nervous giggle. I always got giggly when I was nervous! Damn nerves. "Well…I um, I haven't been eating, uh, healthily… so um, so I have meetings every other day, to like, help me be healthy." I explained. I admit that was a little vague, but I don't know exactly how to explain. I was never good at being blunt.

"What do you mean, you haven't been eating right?" Lilly questioned.

Oh god. "Like, I've been throwing up after I eat…" I explained quietly, looking around the beach.

Lilly gasped. "Oh Miley!" She leaned over and hugged me tightly. "What were you thinking?"

I shook my head, not that she could see it. "I really don't know."

"I'm so sorry for leaving such a mean voice mail, you take whatever time you need." Lilly apologized.

"Lilly, it's fine. It's really not that big of a deal." I hate when people pity.

Lilly just nodded her head. "Oliver's been wondering where you've been too."

"You can tell him… if you want." I told her softly. I defiantly needed to lighten up this mood.

"Soo, you and Oliver, eh?"

Lilly smiled, liking the sound of that. "Yep, me and Oliver. So how's your love life been going?" Lilly asked.

I giggled. "Well... at the meetings for, you know, I kind of met someone."

Lilly smiled and gasped. "Who?!"

"Jake..." I blushed. I felt like a little girl.

"Jake? As in Jake Ryan? As in the Jake Ryan that was an ass but then sent the cute note?!" Lilly squealed.

"Yep, that'd be him. The one and only, Jake Ryan." Miley laughed.

"Not only is it weird that you guys have met again, but it's weird that you met in such a, I don't know, weird place to meet!" Lilly said excitedly. "It's fate! You guys are destined to be together!" Oh gosh, was Olive turning Lilly sappy?

"No, I don't think so Lilly." I told her.

Her happiness deflated like air from a balloon. "What?" She asked with a sad face. "Don't you like him."

"I... yeah I do like him, but I just, I don't know. I think if we were 'destined' to be together we would have used the other chances we had, you know?" I tried to explain to her.

"No, I don't know. I'm not listening to your unbelieving self! You unbeliever!" Lilly grunted, then covered her ears. Typical Lilly, I laughed. I grabbed her hands off her ears.

"Come on, I'm so hot. Let's go in the water." I said, dragging her with me.

We hung out at the beach, then her house for the rest of the day. Lilly told me all the details of her and Oliver and I listened happily. Then I went home to get ready for the day ahead of me.

"Shit," I mumbled the next morning while looking for my keys. Where are they?! I was already late for the meeting and this was just making it worse.

I threw aside my robe on the floor. "Aha!" I grabbed them for where the robe had been on top of them, then ran down stairs.

"I'm late, bye Daddy!" I called, almost to the door.

"Wait, you haven't eaten!" He stopped me. Ugh.

"No time for food! Bye!" He just shrugged. That's a first. He's usually shoving food on me.

I walked in late, everyone was already seated. Once again, I took the only open seat... right next to Ronnie.

Ronnie looked at me and stopped talking mid-sentence. "How nice of you to join us, Miley." She said, then smiled. "Where was I again?" She said, mostly to herself.

Everyone laughed. "Silly me, I'll just move on to the next thing on our agenda. As you all should know, I went to a convention yesterday, and we learned a lot of new activities and I have one I want to try out. It's a confidence booster. I want everyone to get with a partner and tell them the good and positive things about them, okay?" Ronnie clasped her hand together, signaling everyone to go.

Jake walked up to me first. "Partner?" He asked with a shy smile.

"Sure." I said quietly. It was weird being in a place like this together. It was like we were both out of our realm.

"Alright, you may begin." Ronnie said, as if we were taking some timed high-school test. I laughed inwardly.

"Okay, I'll start." Jake said, then fidgeted nervously. It was cute to see him like this, although I probably looked the same way. "You have a beautiful smile." I blushed. Stop it Miley, this is just an activity, it's not personal. I told myself. He has to say this stuff.

"Alright, um, you have a great laugh." I told him, smiling slightly. Jake laughed the laugh I loved.

He lightly picked up my hand in one of his. "You have cute hands," He said, smiling, then he gently dropped it. "And you have a great personality." He added sweetly.

"Yeah, yours is um... it's good..." I joked, making a face.

He laughed. "Hey! I happen to have an amazing personality!" He exclaimed. I looked up at his brightly smiling face.

"You do," I said quietly. Opps, did i say that out loud? Jake's face got serious and he looked like he was about to say something, but then Ronnie called attention to the group.

"I think that went well, what do you guys think?" Ronnie asked. Everyone mumbled some 'yeahs' or 'goods'. No one was to enthusiastic.

"Well I hope everyone is feeling better about themselves because high self esteem is an important part of living a healthy life! And I'm going to end it on that uplifting note. See you all later!" Ronnie smiled and waved good-bye as we all started to pile out.

Jake was waiting for me as I came up to the doors leading outside.

"Heyy," He said.

"Hey." I answered.

Everyone else left the building as we stood of to the side of the building. "So," Jake said once everyone was gone. "How have you been doing, with you know, everything?" He asked, seeming nervous.

"Eh, pretty good, you?" I asked him.

"Same," He answered.

"Well, that's good, I gotta go, see you later."

"Yeah, see you later." He said awkwardly then started walking towards his car. Once I got back to my car, I looked over to where he was parked and he had just reached his car too. And he was looking at me too. God, so awkward. I quickly turned away and got in my car. Things seemed fine when we were doing the activity, what went wrong?

Heyy everyone. I'll try and update faster next time! Really. haha.

but PLEASE REVIEW. pretty please"

SHERRIE


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